Reader Mail: The Ass Is Back


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I'm back now, so you can expect me to start posting more regularly, as well as responding to the comments again. Anyhow, let's get started with some of the reader mail that has been piling up in my inbox:

Hey dude,I read your post about EDM concerts and shows and agree for the most part, it isn't always a beavy of hot chicks (could be where I'm from) but these places are better than mainstream clubs hands down.Just wanted to know how you like to run things at these places because a lot of the times during concerts people are usually focused on who's on stage and its kinda of awkward to try and get shit going when there focus doesn't really seem to be on vibing with other people.
In short: Dance, be very expressive, and talk louder. Also, if there are somewhat quiet places, hang out there instead of the main dance floor (if the place is huge).And keep in mind that when I say to game at EDM events, I'm referring to hardcore EDM places that play it all night long. I'm not talking about when a nightclub places hip-hop over an occasional EDM beat. I also made it a point to mention that I am in the Midwest, where EDM isn't big.
Hey Assanova,

My names (removed), im a "pua" in Cleveland. You from Ohio my dude? theres literally no puas here except maybe in Columbus. Anyways just checked out your blog and it seemed legit. I still feel victimized by the seduction community, as i thought it was the magic pill. Anyways lemme know whatsup, if your from or around Cleveland, maybe we can "sarge" together.

Yes, I am in Columbus. I'll be in Cincy this weekend. As far as Cleveland goes, I only go up there when one of my buddies invite me up there.

Hey, thanks so much for all your work!I'd love to hear more of your wisdom on relationships. Specifically, starting them.I feel like im in a position that most of your readers are aiming for, however i'm looking to take things further. Basically I'm the guy that every girl and her best friend will fuck, and date, and show off to friends and family(sisters). But of the last dozen quality girls whom ive wanted to take things further with, every one of them is opposed to a boyfriend/girlfriend "serious" relationship.I am comfortable with monogamy, and giving and receiving affection. I find sex with beautiful women to be common. Im looking for a deeper connection. There are very specific characteristics which I seek and take time discovering in a woman before i decide wether I'd like to pursue something more serious. Half the time the girls initiate the "i want nothing serious" talk and half the time I bring it up.I would describe my game as very natural, fun, casual, easy going, and happy.I am a very well rounded, top tier guy. Its becomming frustrating hearing the exact same thing from girls over and over again. "your such an amazing guy in every single way, im just not looking for anything serious right now".Please share your wisdom on these situations, and starting and building relationships.Thanks again for all your work. You really are a champion of the modern man.

Take your time. Treat her like a girlfriend, but let her be the one to ask for or insinuate that she wants to be in a relationship with you. In other words, you just have to let it happen and don't try to force the issue. That's how most relationships start.

Dear Assanova:

Wow, I just finished reading your article and it inspired me to write this e-mail as I always wanted to have a clear and meaningful way of properly understanding the logics of the one nights stands. I am really interested in learning this techniques and I was wondering if I could get some kind of roadmap or coaching from you as I would really like to start applying this in the field. I just recently moved to Estonia and was wondering if you had any tips in this Baltic environment. I never thought of going out on Monday nights but your arguments seem so logical and genius that I will start trying this week, thanks for your attention and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon, sincerely,

el patrón
Read my posts under the "One Night Stand" tag to your left side of the screen. Also, go to as many small parties as you possibly can, as they create the perfect conditions for one-night stands to happen. The girl is going to be there all night long, which means that you'll have plenty of time to get her comfortable with you.

So here's a question...what are ur thoughts on guys who move to other coutries to chase foriegn women (well i guess the guy who moves is the foriegner in this case)? I live in the US and am similiar to you- im black, somewhat above avg looking, kinda tall, dont give a fuck, BUT im not "hood" or "white" but somewhere in between. Im just.. myself, and i aspire to no specific mold. Im also smart and LITERATE, and i think its safe to say u are basically the same way. However, unlike u, i live in the fucking hood, and its fucking gay. Im sick of the bullshit, and im suurre you know exactly what i am talking about here. Certain things get old, FAST.Theres another blogger named Rooshv (im pretty sure u know of him), and he travels a lot, and seems to dislike american women based on his experiences with foreign women. No offense to him (bc i think its a cool idea to travel), but do u think he's right (check one of his latest blog posts. its all about how he thinks american women are "broken")? Do u think its a bitch move to move overseas to chase women? I have found a good employment opportunity to teach english overseas, and that coupled with my annoyance of my surroundings is making me want to go, but people say its "weak" and some say its too big a risk. My thoughts are, im only 22, and have no kids so WHY THE HELL NOT lol?Heres another related question, if i move, i plan on exploiting any possible racially based positive misconceptions the women there have of me ( i think we can all think of a few lol). Whats ur take on that? Im pretty sure u do that as well since u do a lot of IR dating, but the way i see it is- SHIT whyyy not?? If it gets ya laid..... then..... do it! Am I wrong or what bro?Thanks,BlackDude

-I really don't give two shits about how another guy gets laid. It's his business. Every guy has to do what he's gotta do to get laid.
-You're young. Take as many chances and have as much fun as you possibly can, or you'll end up regretting it later on in life.
-And I really don't care about racial misconceptions. Like I just said, do what you gotta do to get yours.

Dear Assanova,You mentioned that you have perfected your online profile. I was wondering if I could see your headline or other parts of your profile so I can learn from it. If you want I will not use them word for word, which doesn't really work anyway, because it has to come from within and be original, I understand that.I wanted to thank you also. Again, your material comes from REAL LIFE NATURAL EXPERIENCE. It's game without the game. It is the material that really resonates with me.
Unless it's buried somewhere in my unpublished posts, I no longer have my online dating profile. I lost it when my hard-drive on my other computer screwed up. I would recommend that you check out the Online Casanova link that I have on my sidebar under "links of interest".

Dear Assanova,

Yesterday I went to a Halloween party and met a German nanny who is working as an au pair (a nanny) in America temporarily. I was dressed as a police officer and ended up "arresting" her and taking her back to my car, where she gave me some unprotected oral sex. It was not a rigorous session by any means. She is black and has a cute accent, not that that really matters. Before I took her outside, I asked her how many people had "arrested" her before, and then I corrected myself and asked how many times she had been "arrested" before. We were both flirting and I felt like she was on the same page as me with the sub communication. I also felt like I could trust her response. She said after a few seconds, "I am waiting to be arrested for the first time".

In other words, I am not sure if I can trust her. Now somebody I really care about wants to come over today. We have been seeing each other for several weeks now. Although we have not had sex yet she still gives me good unprotected oral and I go down on her. We haven't formally discussed or defined our relationship, because she is really easy going and she likes me.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I TELL HER ABOUT MY ENCOUNTER? I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD. I also feel like she would understand. And I can't really get tested because symptoms don't really show for a while if I did get something. I am just afraid.

As a man, you should NEVER, EVER, tell on yourself. Women will NEVER let you live it down.

I read your "Getting women to buy you things" post. It was amazing.

I'm only in college and my last girlfriend was a 43 year old nurse. I absolutely loved it when she bought shit for me, and not just because I like free stuff. The process itself was a sexual turn on. Anyway, I want to perfect my gold digger game and ideally seduce a high-income, high-status career woman (she doesn't need looks). Most gurus write about how to get twenty-somethings into bed. There is literally NO ONE discussing how to get high-status women. You seem to be the only one with an inkling of a clue. So tell me: do rich/powerful women require a fundamentally different type of game than middle class women?

If anything, I'd be more of a hard-ass towards them. they're use to always getting what they want, so not having control over you and your actions will drive them crazy. But really, I tend to treat almost all women the same, so it doesn't really matter to me.

Hey Assanova,

You might have material about this on your blog but I just started reading and thought I'd ask you directly..
I go to the gym 4 times a week and usually my mindset is to focus, do my work out, and leave the gym as fast as possible. Time and time again I have seen the same cute girl at the gym, and I would love to talk with her but it just seems so awkward at the gym. I saw the same girl today outside of the gym and we both looked at each other and I knew that I should of said something...I also have trouble approaching women.
Please help.
Sorry if you've been asked this question multiple times.


I don't know what you want me to tell you other than to just do it. This isn't a game issue, it's a confidence issue, and there's nothing I can say to you that's going to make you have confidence. Like most things in life, confidence comes with experience.


Jill Smith, CEO

(P) 615-555-5555

(F) 615-555-5525
1312 5th Ave N.

Nashville, TN 37208

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